Sunday, 25 January 2009

Poem: Lines on Meeting Craig Ferguson's Neighbour

As promised, a poem about expats for this Homecoming Burns Night. I thought I'd start with the negatives. In the book Global Scots, comedian Craig Ferguson talks about a distrust in Scotland of successful people that he felt held him back - the 'ah kent his faither' syndrome. We've all met someone whose greatest talent is telling others how something 'cannae be done' - these kind of people are as thick on the ground in Scotland as dandelions. So here's a wee ditty on the subject:

"Ah kent the boy, ah kent him weel."

"Well sir, well now, gee!
That makes you as big a man
as a star like him, I see!"

"No son, you're no seeing straight
but I'll put you right," said he.
"I'll gladly disabuse you son,
I'll dae it fine for free!"
"The reality is, I kent the nyaff
- he'll loathe himsel', like me."


Billy said...

Ah, Bing Hitler, Uncle Tam and his wiggly beezers.

By the way, I saw him in a play, so I probably saw his faither

Robert Craig said...

"Ah played bools wi' his faither, talks like a Yank, forgotten his roots, thinks he's made o' chocolate, Gerard Kelly wis funnier, girn moan greet."